White Ribbon Day 2017 in Llanidloes

Suzanne Iuppa (left) PAVO Community Connector, & Fleur Frantz-Morgans of
Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre

White Ribbon Campaign UK is part of a global movement to put a stop to male violence against women and girls.

On the 25th November, the world marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, also known as White Ribbon Day. From then until the 10th December, we encourage everybody to take part in the 16 Days of Activism against gender-based violence. 

Suzanne is the PAVO Community Connector covering Llanidloes and District, working with adults to access the services, information and support that they need to maintain an independent life. She wanted to bring the White Ribbon message to her patch: “We will be addressing men and making them feel good about themselves, more confident about stating their opinions and talking through problems, as well as supporting women.”

So, keen to find out more myself, I joined Suzanne and Fleur Frantz-Morgans of Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre in Llanidloes last Saturday, on the coldest weekend of the year so far. Sustained by hot mulled apple juice, mince pies, and extra layers, we spent half a day chatting to local people – most of whom had never heard of the campaign – though with a couple of key exceptions – more below. Our market stall, sandwiched between local political activists and a fruit and veg trader with a healthy sideline in log snowmen and santas, was well placed for the three of us to engage with shoppers stocking up on fresh bread or catching up with friends.

Our aim was to promote:

• The White Ribbon Campaign and issues around domestic abuse.
• The service provided by MFCC in North Powys.
• The ask me scheme run by Women’s Aid in partnership with Welsh Women’s Aid. 

Members of Llanidloes Rotary Club show their support for White Ribbon Day

White Ribbon Campaign

"To wear a White Ribbon is to pledge never to commit, excuse or remain silent about male violence. Our message to men is to practice tolerance, respect and kindness, and to stand up against male violence, bullying and sexism in all forms".

White Ribbon was founded in 2007, and around 500 men in the UK are now White Ribbon Ambassadors. The organisation provides training and outreach to local authorities, groups and clubs. There is even a White Ribbon All Party Parliamentary Group of MPs, plus sports and trade union campaigns to help spread the word.

"To end violence against women we need a culture change. We need people to speak out and condemn it. So, one of the most important things you can do is to talk about it, especially to the uninitiated, unaware and unconvinced".

Finding out about White Ribbon Day

Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre

“MFCC aims to reduce the risk of domestic abuse and to positively change the lives of our clients by providing specialist support and guidance; encouraging clients not only to survive, but to thrive from their experiences, enabling them to move on to develop healthy, respectful relationships in the future”.

Fleur is a Community Liaison Officer at MFCC and one of her key roles is to raise awareness that help is at hand in North Powys for anyone experiencing domestic abuse – both men and women. From 2014 – 2015 a total of 829 incidents of domestic violence were reported to the police in Powys, and over half were from Montgomeryshire. The charity has access to safe emergency accommodation where people can take temporary refuge, access support and advice and take time to decide on next steps. The Haven is a refuge for women and Davis House is for men. Both take adults with accompanying children. Referrals could come from the police, voluntary agencies or from people experiencing crisis themselves.

One of the support workers from the male refuge joined us briefly in Great Oak Street to tell us more about her role. “Some men come in with literally nothing. We provide a welcome pack with toiletries, food and clothing. We take people to the food bank if they have to wait before receiving benefits. They might need a solicitor or counselling – we give them help with whatever they need.” The residents then live independently in the refuge – “we support but don’t care for people.”

The support worker explained that the residents are also extremely supportive of each other. They could be in the refuge anything from a few weeks to a year depending on individual circumstances. “All have mental health problems because of the effect of the abuse. At the very least they have stress and anxiety, and many are depressed.” People can be referred for counselling and other sources of support such as specialist counselling relating to sexual abuse or misuse of drugs and alcohol.

The 24 hour crisis line for MFCC is: 01686 629114. Once the office is closed for the day the staff become on call workers, calls are diverted to the Live Fear Free helpline  – a Wales-wide service for victims of domestic or sexual abuse, they support any out of area callers, signposting them to the services in their area and forwarding any local emergencies to the MFCC on call worker, workers regularly bring local emergencies into the safe houses, day and night, MFCC are on hand 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for the residents of North Powys.

Maggie Fitzpatrick-Reeves (left) ask me ambassador, with Fleur

ask me scheme 

As if by magic the next person to show up alongside the Town Hall in Llanidloes was Maggie Fitzpatrick-Reeves, who is an ask me ambassador in North Powys. Maggie told me that her role is to raise awareness of domestic abuse in the community. “Most people think the abuse is mainly about physical violence, but less than 1 in 6 incidents are violence-related, the rest are cases of psychological and emotional abuse”. After attending a two day course recently in the town Maggie is able to challenge myths likes this and also said that people now confide in her. She knows how to signpost victims to expert advice and support – how to keep both them and herself safe.

The ask me scheme breaks the silence about domestic abuse within a community, and removes the barriers that make it hard for survivors to tell others about their experiences.

Fleur explained that "people experiencing domestic abuse can feel a sense of loss and even guilt at the thought of leaving family and friends behind, or for taking children away from loved ones, their friends and school, even pets, it can be an exceptionally hard decision. This can be made even harder when abusers, someone they have feeling for, apologise for their behaviour and make promises that the abuse will never happen again. One minute victims may suffer terrible emotional and physical abuse, the next minute they can be showered with love, regret and promises to change, giving them glimpses of the person they fell for, giving them hope for the future, but still fearing the present". 

We also spoke to people about issues relating to older people and abusive relationships. A husband and wife could be married for many decades, and then one of them may develop dementia in later life. Dementia can sometimes lead people to behave in aggressive and even violent ways towards their partners. Some carers may find that they have become the victim of domestic violence and have to leave their husband or wife and start a new life well into their eighties or nineties.

If you know someone who lives with domestic abuse – actual or threatened physical, emotional, psychological, sexual or financial abuse by a partner, family member or someone with whom there is or has been a close relationship – then Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre can help, whether you live in Llanfyllin or Llanidloes or anywhere in between. Call: 01686 629114.

For help in other areas of Powys call Welsh Women’s Aid: 0808 80 10 100.

Are you supporting the White Ribbon Campaign this year? If so, tell us more about your involvement in the comment box below.